As is similar with previous stories in the other books we get a similar Yunior who acts similarly to a typical Dominican man, but realizes the error in his ways and often feels badly about them. Yunior realizes being a Dominican man is not the right thing to do, but struggles to break away from the typical nature of men that has been instilled in him still his childhood.
In the opening story of This Is How You Lose Her, Yunior cheats on his girlfriend, Magda, but feels terribly about it. He tells her he won't leave her "because I love you, mami. I know this sounds like a load of doo-doo, but it's true: Magda's my heart" (6). At the same time, Yunior's friends are trying to pull him away from Magda using typical Dominican attitudes of "fuck her, don't sweat that bitch" (7). Here we see the problem that Yunior is confronted with throughout the three books. He has his own desires and a relatively good set of morals, but the expectations and influence of other Dominican males are often too much for him and he caves to their influence.
This brings about the question of whose fault is it that Yunior and other Dominican men are the way that they are. At the end of the day, every individual has to make their own decisions, but the way that people are raised and the situation they grow up in play a huge role in the actions and morality that they display later in life. Certainly there is a certain amount of responsibility for the womanizing of Yunior and other dominican men on parents and the societal expectations of them. Even today in modern America these expectations exist to a smaller extent. It is much more acceptable, even encouraged for men to be more sexually promiscuous, while it is very frowned upon for women to do so.
The women in all three of the books are treated very poorly by the men in their relationships far past just cheating. In The Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Beli is beaten to within an inch of her life because of the gangster, but continuous to love and adore him even after this incident, even hoping that he will come rescue her from the airport when she is fleeing to America. As a result, it seems like some women are hopelessly complicit to the abuse and mistreatment in their relationship. They almost come into relationships hoping not to be, but expecting of the fact that their Dominican man may cheat on and abuse them. Because this is the social norm, they think that their is very little they can do given the situation and are imprisoned in their situation.
However, there are some examples of the women fighting back and resisting the social expectations of their relationships. Lola is the best example of this and acts like a strong woman with an independent sense of will. This is the most important factor as many other women, especially Beli, define themselves by the men that they are with, instead of their own actions and talents.
The Nature of Yunior is a very complicated one. At times one is led to believe that he has a good spirit and put into poor situations. For example, on Vacation when Yunior’s girlfriend, Magda, is ignoring him, he has the opportunity to cheat with a girl named Lucy but chooses not to (Diaz 22). However, there are other times when one cannot but awe in the selfish and depraved nature of Yunior. For instance, after Magda, Yunior found a new girlfriend, Alma, who he claims to love. Yet despite this claim to love Alma find in Yunior’s journal descriptions about how he sleeps with another girl. Cheating is inherently selfish, yet what makes Yunior especially depraved is the fact that he tries to lie to Alma and pleads, “Baby, this is part of my book” (Diaz 50). The fact that Yunior makes a mistake can be reconciled. The fact that he does not own up to it, the fact that he hopelessly tries to scheme his way out of a break up cannot.
ReplyDeleteYunior may have good intentions at times. However, a man is not judged off of his intentions, but instead a man is judged off of his actions. So, if the nature of Yunior’s morality is brought into question then by looking at his actions one has to admit he is a bad person. Yunior is selfish with regards to his loved ones, and despite the best intentions, he continually sabotages the lives of those around him.
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ReplyDeleteAs Anthony mentioned in his post, the Yunior in This is How You Lose Her as well as in The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, is a version of Yunior much more typical of a Dominican male than the timid, young Yunior in Drown. In the later two novels, he is very caviler in his relationships with women, often cheating on them as he did with Magda. While the casual attitude is evident by Yuniors actions, and evidenced in his failed relationships the idealistic aspects of the young Yunior come through in Yunior the narrator’s thoughts. In This is How You Lose Her, the narrator laments the fact that his friend Nilda, his brother’s girlfriend, doesn’t seem to notice him. He talks about their waiting: “Sometimes … we’d stay there a long time, me waiting for her to fall in love with me, her waiting for whatever” (33). Though Yunior wishes the best for Nilda and wants her to like him romantically, the character is set in the Dominican American mentality. The cultural pull of powerful, masculine males and sexually charged females ultimately affects his behavior toward the women in his life. I appreciated Anthony’s comment about women being complicit in the relationships that appear abusive and unhealthy. Though there are certainly different cultural norms, it seems reasonable that women should not simply accept cheating and abuse. This is an area I am eager to follow throughout the rest of the novel.
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